Do all people cheat?

[Clara Oswald]

So...I was thinking about this the other day. It seems like more and more everyone I know cheats regularly on their boyfriend/girlfriend. So does everyone cheat (I don't mean you personally, I mean people in general)? And why do people do it?

 

[ZorCrow]

So...I was thinking about this the other day. It seems like more and more everyone I know cheats regularly on their boyfriend/girlfriend. So does everyone cheat (I don't mean you personally, I mean people in general)? And why do people do it?

I have never cheated, never have, never will. I have never gone to a strip club EVER, I don't own or watch porn, I don't own any suggestive magazines,
I don't flirt, I don't hit on women, I don't ask for sex or kisses or anything like that. I am infallible and faithful in every sense of the word.

Now, I know NO other man like me, so many men and women cheat it's not funny. I should be the norm, not an oddity, too many guys and too many gals have forgotten about what it means to be loyal to a person and uphold a covenant of marriage and commitment in all areas of society.

There are some good folks out there though, who don't cheat,
good women and good men.

 

[Timeless Beautie]

I have once.... when I was young and immature. But now... I wouldn't cheat. It's just wrong.

 

[Whitefox]

I am saddened by the increase in people who find cheating on their spouses/significant others/B-friends/G-friends to be ok. I met my wife back in 1990 in Highschool. I met her on a Tuesday and when I got home to my Parents I told them That I had met the woman I would be spending the rest of my life with. We have been together for 15 years, 8 of them as a married couple. We did not live together till after we were married and we were both virgins. I am not by any stretch of the imagination as good looking as Brad Pitt or Colin Farrel but I have had many opportunities to cheat on my wife with co workers and such who knew I was married and yet still offered. I do not think That I could do that and then look my wife in the face and tell her I love her. The word Love nowadays has become a mockery of its definition. It is thrown around today by so many. You hear 15 year old kids telling their girlfriends/boyfriends how much they love them and then 2 days later they are not together anymore. This goes for adults as well. The word love for my wife and I means so much and it is sad to hear what it has been reduced to. Just another word. It all starts with respecting yourself first and then respecting the person you are with. If you think for a moment that the person you are with is not the person you are ready to spend the rest of your life with then hold off on using the L word. Foir some it is another word but for others it is a commitment and one not to be taken lightly.

 

[Clairvoyance]

I don’t cheat. Ever. This is not only because I am a child. It’s because it’s a horrible, horrible thing to do. I understand that some just can’t help themselves. Individuals like that shouldn’t even be dating in the first place. It’s wrong for them to hurt someone else like that. I don’t even like that idea of cheating to get revenge on a lover who cheated on you. By doing that you only get down on their dirty, cheater level. If someone were to cheat on me, I’d brake up with her[him?]. It’s something that I never want to deal with. Once a cheater always a cheater.

 

[DonDaddyD]

I've cheated.



It was a mistake and I don't regret it. - I think all things are done for a reason good or bad...



I did it, I've experienced an aspect of living so I can safely say that it is something that I have actually experienced and know how it feels and therefore I can safely say that I will hope not (It is impossible to say never) to do it again as I hated it. As doing it lessens me as a person, Man and the relationship that I would be in.

 

[Mat]

I've never cheated on a girlfriend in the typical physical sense. But this thread got me thinking that cheating on someone else typically means betraying their trust and giving up on them. I've given-up on relationships before because they got too difficult for one reason or another and though I know that in virtually every case the fault for a relationship failing lies with both those involved. Still...I feel like I've cheated on a couple past girlfriends for not showing the understanding I should have given certain circumstances. Such is the joy of emotional immaturity. Hopefully I'll be a better man to the next girl.

 

[Karma]

DonDaddyD's post alone makes me believe that MEN are the ones who will cheat before a woman would even consider it. how does a person define cheating as "life experience" and believe its okay!? cheating is a willfull deviation and ignoring of the supposed trust bond and loyalty between a couple in a close relationship. I would say to ANYONE who thinks that way....FLIP THE SCRIPT and ask yourself would you like it if it was done to YOU?

cheating, dishonesty are some of the most hurtfull things you can do to someone in a relationship and to ME...they are some of the most unforgivable.

From what i have seen with many of my girlfriends...their "men" have often justified their cheating with "i had to see what was out there" or "it couldnt be helped" or whatever...well if it was that damn compelling...why couldnt you just be a man and TELL HER what was up? youd say anything else..so why not that?

Id want to KNOW if something was wrong...if my man felt his heart was going elsewhere...i think i would deserve to know if i was about to be betrayed or that there was even a hint of possibility...because i have a heart too.

 

[Hawksmoor]

Cheating is disgusting; quite a few of my friends have with their girlfriends, and it always ended up hurting everyone concerned. I never have personally, and hope I never will, because I would feel very bad afterwards, I know.

 

[Clairvoyance]

I don’t like the whole ‘I had to see what was out there’ thing. It’s one of the most immature and thoughtless thing that a man [or woman] could do. What is even more wrong, in my opinion, is when their lover forgives them. I really don’t think that cheating should be forgiven unless that person was mind controlled. Other than that, they’re just being careless. It’s sad when people don’t understand that they WILL do it again and that they really just don’t care. If anyone was ever to make me feel that low and worthless, I would never give him/her the time of day, again. I don’t understand cheating while married to an even more extended point. Some individuals are against gay marriage when the strait people can’t even get it right.

 

[Black Widow]

I agree with Farrah. Betrayal is the absolute WORST thing a person can do to a partner. It is ALSO, along with physical abuse, one of those things I absolutely will NOT forgive. A friend of mine once said she thought her man might be cheating. I told her to leave him. If he can't give you his UNDIVIDED attention, he's not worth yours.

END of story.

*drops two cents in*

 

[Clara Oswald]

The impetus for starting this thread was learning that two of my current girl(space)friends cheat on their boyfriends, one of whom talks about wanting to start a family with her bf. And I always sort of accepted that lots of men cheat, but it was the realization that it seems like everyone is doing it that made me sort of depressed lol

 

[DonDaddyD]

This again is quite interesting to me as my house mate was telling me that if his girl is out in a club and decides to kiss someone else then thats fine - just as long as he isn't there and visa versa.

Also people cheat for lots of reasons it is really hard to condemn a person when not fully understanding their circumstances. A lot of you assume that a person is cheating on a person that loves them and cherishes them, that is not always the case. And where it is easy to say 'why don't you simply leave them' it sometimes easier said than done and doing so is even more difficult.

[Farrah I look to you about what I just said as I remember our first ever conversation... but I doubt you'd share that with the board.]

I also want to make this clear, I never said what I did was okay but to some degree it was an experience that I learnt from hence life experience. All I said was that I don't regret it.

In regards to my own cheating I was at university (my first year) I hardly got to see my then girlfriend she was more than 100 miles away from me and we were having several problems including the distance. It's hard when your young everything is new, unfamliar and everyone around you is doing one thing and you the other, you need space to adjust holding onto (that type of) a relationship (back then) wasn't best for me.

[Anyway]

I was blind drunk in the club girl comes over and I'm feeling a little lonely (I don't care what you say it is hard when your all alone away from everythig you know and everyone around you is off enjoying themselves) so I entertained the attention (admittingly I shouldn't have) it led from their. I told her the next day and broke up with her. She didn't want to break up but I didn't like what I did to her and she deserved better than what I could give so I ended it. I didn't start anything new with this other girl (or anyone else for a while until I had adjusted at Uni). I didn't have an affair, I made a mistake but I don't regret it I learned something new. I learnt many personal things about myself and relationships that I care not to get into. But for me it was experience I had never done something like that before...

(In the end I come from a place where Adults encourage youngin's to go out and have fun and experience doing the right thing and making mistakes. That way you have an balanced equlibrium of judgement when they are older that when the right thing comes along your sure due to the experience. This normally comes about from those who were/are hurt or gave too much too young without knowing better.) - That however may be hard for many to accept.

----------------------------------------------

And Vilandra to my knowledge the women/girls I encounter cheat to no end over in England... The amount of time I have heard the 'I love them it's just.... excuse. I'm not denying men cheat (I have - once three years ago) but women aren't as much of a golden bag of innocence they are often made out to be. Many notoriously cheat and lie about it constantly!

The main scenario is the jealous friend caper... Girl in a relationship goes for a night out with single friend, two guys pay them attention single friend has to pressure her friend in a relationship to cheat. This is normally out of jealousy between the two friends.

 

[Bane]

I think cheating is a direct result of being unfulfilled, and the only reason you should be unfulfilled in a relationship with someone you really like, is if you're not honest and you're not willing to communicate your insecurities. If the person you're with is worth the effort, he/she will work out any problems you have, provided you match his/her effort. There will always be problems, but what defines a loyal lover from a betraying one is that the loyal lover actually works out those problems.

With that said, I think people from all walks of life have the potential to cheat, and it's an unfortunate part of contemporary society, wherein we have to face the reality of growing divorce rates. I will say, though, that I believe men cheat more because men seem to have a more hearty sexual appetite; one which, unfortunately, some women find distasteful, so they seek elsewhere to sate their desires. Overall, though, I think cheating occures because of the ideologies constantly reinforced in the media that it's "cooler" to be "free" than "tied down."

 

[Clara Oswald]

And Vilandra to my knowledge the women/girls I encounter cheat to no end over in England... The amount of time I have heard the 'I love them it's just.... excuse. I'm not denying men cheat (I have - once three years ago) but women aren't as much of a golden bag of innocence they are often made out to be. Many notoriously cheat and lie about it constantly!

Yes this is exactly what I am finding to be true - to my dismay!

 

[DonDaddyD]

I think cheating is a direct result of being unfulfilled, and the only reason you should be unfulfilled in a relationship with someone you really like, is if you're not honest and you're not willing to communicate your insecurities. If the person you're with is worth the effort, he/she will work out any problems you have, provided you match his/her effort. There will always be problems, but what defines a loyal lover from a betraying one is that the loyal lover actually works out those problems.

With that said, I think people from all walks of life have the potential to cheat, and it's an unfortunate part of contemporary society, wherein we have to face the reality of growing divorce rates. I will say, though, that I believe men cheat more because men seem to have a more hearty sexual appetite; one which, unfortunately, some women find distasteful, so they seek elsewhere to sate their desires. Overall, though, I think cheating occures because of the ideologies constantly reinforced in the media that it's "cooler" to be "free" than "tied down."

I agree with everything you've said except what I've highlighted in bold. Granted women approach Sex differently to men but I wouldn't say they have less of a sexual appetite to men.

Men may sleep around but a women may have sex or want to have sex with one man a lot more times than the cheating man can.

 

[Greatness]

Personally I feel that most cheating is done during the younger ages. As you get older you become more flexable with your ideas on sex. Most younger people cheat because they get in a relationship and havent even dated may people yet having sex at like 14. In alot of cases if the guy or girl your with isnt what you expected than you will most likely cheat. I dont see the point of getting in steady relationships at that age because your just finding out about sex and what you like about it, or who you might like to do it with. Most people say sex isnt a big part of the relationship even though its huge in any relationship. If your not satisfied than your probally not going to be happy and the younger you are the harder that is to do, when I was younger I cheated like I was in politics, because girls would pretty much force me into relationships with them and since I dont like hurting people I would say yes. As I got older I realized how worthless it was to do that and that there was no point in being with someone your cheating on because obviously its not working. Now this is not to say that you cant make it work, many older couples swing meaning they realize they have something good together but arent sexually compatiable and they swap with other partners to make up for that but that doesnt count as cheating in anyway, its the most mature way of dealing with the situation if you really love the person for who they are. Cheating without telling is lying and lying is bad.

 

[eponinethen]

I can understand why someone would cheat.. but, in that situation, they should probably have broken up/talked about stuff way way way before that.. So I am not in any way saying it is ever okay. At all. I have never cheat and I can't see myself ever doing that.. Most of all: I hope I'll never do anything like that.. don't know how I'd be able to live with myself if I did..

But to answer the original question.. No, I don't think everyone cheats. I mean of course they don't. But it's scary that so many do. And I do believe everyone is capable of cheating, in a specific situation or something like that..

 

[ZorCrow]

I am infallible, I've never cheated, never have never will. Folks need to work on their morality and cheating will be reduced.

 

[Karma]

I am infallible, I've never cheated, never have never will. Folks need to work on their morality and cheating will be reduced.