Haleigh/Andrew

[Black Widow]

Haleigh appeared in Andrew's apartment.

"Man, you've been streaming that all night. Think you can handle a live show?"

 

[Titan]

Was it possible for your dick to fall off if you used it too much? He looked down, then shrugged. He was watching his bootleg copy of "Haleigh does Alek" again. Man, could she move. That Alek guy must be the luckiest in the world, to have a precious flower like Haleigh wanting to make sweet sweet love to him like that.

And then suddenly, like out of a dream, she was standing there, in his apartment.

Maybe his undiscovered mutant power was to make dreams reality? Be cool, Andrew. Just like we practiced.

He stood and straightened the ascot he wore under his burgundy smoking jacket. He swirled the glass of cognac in his hand and took a sip.

"I was just about to read some Shakespeare before a quick perusal of the stock market and then I thought I'd buy a few horses with my billions...care to join me for a drink?"

He undid the belt of his jacket, revealing his naked - yet perfect - body beneath.

"See anything you like?"

 

[Black Widow]

Haleigh gave a coy school girl giggle when he opened his jacket.

"Shakespeare and stocks and stallions? Oh, you're so CLASSY....."

She started, moving towards him, sliding her hands under his jacket.

"With such a hard body.... why didn't I see it before?"

She said, kissing his chest, and then she shoved him back onto his sofa with a naughty smile. She started to unbutton her shirt.

"What should I do to you first?"

She wondered aloud

 

[Titan]

"Shakespeare and stocks and stallions? Oh, you're so CLASSY....."

He put his hands on the lapels of his jacket.

“Yes, yes I am.”

He started to sweat a little as she slid her hands under his jacket, but he kept it cool. After all, he was the most sophisticated and greatest lover in the world!

"With such a hard body.... why didn't I see it before?"

“You were blinded…blinded by society’s stereotype of traditional masculinity. When what you really need, is someone who will listen to you…who will be happy to just hold you and wipe your tears when you cry…”

He looked off into the distance dramatically.

“Yes, I am that sensitive yet manly man you’ve been looking for.”

She pushed him back onto the sofa and started taking off her shirt. His fantasies were usually over by this point.

"What should I do to you first?"

He thought, trying to remember all those books he'd read. The diagram! What had the diagram said?!

“Um, I th-think you’re supposed to insert my penis into your vagina.”

 

[Black Widow]

Haleigh smiled at him. He was such a sweetheart. What a fool Delilah was for dumping him. That's okay though, because Haleigh was going to kiss it and make it all better.

"There are other places we can put it.... "

She suggested, kneeling in front of him and putting her hands on his knees before sliding them up his legs.

"Wow, your thighs are just amazing..... but I bet girls tell you that all the time."

She said, before leaning in and taking him into her mouth.

 

[Titan]

"You know, everywhere I go it seems like girls - and guys - are pointing at me and saying, 'Just look at that guy's thighs! (Trademark.)'"

And then she did something with her mouth that he had only seen in dirty magazines he found in his father's closet that one Sunday when his parents were visiting Nan. What a Sunday!

"Oh this is so much better than my hand..."

Andrew! Remember you are a suave, debonair lothario!

"I mean, Scarlett Johansson didn't do it this good!"

Now he should offer to do something for her, to show his sensitive side.

"Would you like me to-"

What did girls like?

"Paint your toenails?"

 

[Black Widow]

He realizes that Scarlett Johansson is my Hollywood undercover persona, right?

He offered to paint her toe nails. Right NOW?!

"Whaaa?"

She said with her mouth full, before coming up for air.

"My toenails? No, rub my shoulders baby."

She said before going back down.