Minerva's mansion
Haleigh said:
"No....... now it's time for YOU to listen.
:: Alison remained silent. She released her grip on her Time Staff, which began to fall to the floor but vanished in a swirl of darkly glowing blue/black orbs. She remained standing, just looking at Haleigh with her black tear streaked face.::
Haleigh said:
I wasn't here for this.... which is my fault. But I'm here NOW, and just like before..... you're to get my opinion whether you like it or not. EVERYONE, and I mean every last one of you, got a raw deal. Everyone got hurt. Everyone had to make sacrifices they weren't ready for. And you know what? You all need to cut each other some fucking slack. Because focusing on your own pain is making things worse. You had to make a tough choice. You did the best you could, I can see that. I still think you should have included Delilah in the decision-making, and NOT Bishop, but it's over and done with now, and we need to move forward. I'm going to do everything I can to help fix the major issue, which is the kid being gone.
:: Alison heard her. She was right in line with what Karen, Ava and Cameron had said. All of them confirming or in some cases highlighting things the other said without knowing it. Why was it so HARD for her? well it went back to what Ava, Karen and Cameron had all discerned and said to her. As upset and angry with her as Delilah was...Alison was upset and unforgiving of HERSELF, feeling that she had FAILED when i reality, just as as the others and now Haleigh had said, there was NO WAY OUT. BUT...DELILAH should have been included.::
Haleigh...part of the reason why I can't forgive myself is because I know....Morgan knew...we talked about this amongst ourselves and no one else. NEITHER of us trusted Delilah's judgement anymore. We didn't think she was...
:: balling up her fist::
We didn't think she was of a sound mind anymore. And WE NEVER forgave ourselves for what happened to her BEFORE!
That night when you all showed up here, after the Viper caper. You were a zombie that Malice was able to miraculously restore. The team was reeling from the "betrayal" of who they THOUGHT was Alycia, but it turned out to be a Mystech "life model decoy"; Sharon LEFT as soon as it was confirmed YOU were recovered because she was having too hard of a time adjusting and Delilah...she was so badly hurt. It wasnt a physical pain...but mental.
You, Ava and myself were right here in this very room, while she went out there and DROWNED herself! By the time we got to her, it was too late! Then when I called Morgan and she showed up and we told her?
::FLASH!::
Oracle said:
<< Images of Morgan exclaiming with grief and dismay as a crestfallen Alison tries to hold her and Haleigh and Ava are on the other side of her, both echoing Alison's sentiment>>
It was...just like that night you and I went to tell KAREN about Morgan, after Master Mold. You and I went into OVERDRIVE trying to fortify and prepare Illustra for the next threat or attack...real OR imagined. Blaze, Delilah and even Zach were a bit taken aback by what we were doing but what happened then? SHOCKWAVE betrayed us, turning into Blackout! So even though our methods were harsh...we were justified.
You know us....Morgan and I...we BOTH have controlling natures...and you know WHY in each of our cases. We felt so BAD...we so incompetent that we BOTH reflexively attempted to CONTROL everything we could to keep her safe!
Blaze said that to Morgan the night in the infirmary when she and Delilah went their first round of words. Morgan wants to protect and keep her loved ones safe...sometimes she goes too far and starts trying to CONTROL them.
I do the same thing. I sometimes try to rationalize it but CAMERON told me about myself yesterday regarding this.
:: She pauses for a moment, waving her hand to conjure a hankerchief. She begins to dab her eyes and wipe her face, clearing her throat as well::
That night in the infirmary when Morgan succumbed to her injuries from Black and Hecate stepped in to stop Karen from using a necromancy spell...she restored Morgan AND she brought Delilah and Bishop to the front for an accounting not only of their roles in what lead to Morgan's death but THEMSELVES.
We all listened. We heard the sad backstory. For Morgan and I, at least, it all explained Delilah's behavior ever since Bishop first came into our lives. When Hecate told us she was pregnant with his child? my heart SANK.
But when Hecate gave her a CHOICE to be freed from the curse, even though it would cost her the prengnacy...Morgan and I...we felt that it was a SMALL PRICE to pay to be FREE of something that was haunting her from one life time to the next! She'd never have to worry about being predestined to suffer hurt, pain and betrayal!
That's why I urged Delilah to take Hecate's offer.
But Delilah refused.
Haleigh...at that moment? Morgan and I BOTH felt she was INSANE. We've felt that way ever since.
:: Alison had said this to Ava and Karen...but not Cameron::
Ever since that moment, Morgan and I watched the 9 months progress with more and more DREAD, for as I said, I IMMEDIATELY began searching across time threads leading to/from Delilah regarding this pregnancy. I KNEW that this would end badly for her.
And so..we believed that it was for the BEST not to tell her because we just...couldn't TRUST her judgement! We BOTH felt she'd throw her life away...AGAIN! and you heard what Hecate said...she would FORGET what she learned about this curse when she moved on from this lifetime to the next. She'd go through it ALL OVER again, not understanding why she was experiencing such pain, loss, betrayal and DEATH...all related to this man! This man who she DROWNED HERSELF over!
I'm not perfect. My precognition doesnt preclude me from making bad choices. If ANYTHING, Morgan or I should have told you what we were discussing amongst ourselves. Just like when I came to you that night to show you who was going to die during the Master Mold caper.
By the time EITHER of us realized what a mistake it was NOT have included you for a much needed differing perspective, it was too late. You were gone and things were already happening.
Did we underestimate her?
:: Alison looks at Haleigh, searching her eyes as if she might find the answer THERE instead of her own silent mouth::
Haleigh, there was a time when I would have been able to say YES and I'd accept any rebuke that came my way for doing it. But POST-BISHOP and suicide attempt? I'm sorry....many things I am...a liar is NOT one of them. No, I don't believe I underestimated her and I know Morgan doesnt either.
I don't believe she would have made the right choice or a rational choice and honestly, Haleigh?
NOBODY, was confident in Delilah's judgement after Bishop came on the scene.
It was there, lingering in ALL of our minds but NO ONE beside Morgan and Myself would say anything if push came to shove, which it did.
Perhaps Morgan and/or myself should've approached her earlier on during the pregnancy, talked with her about the concerns we had for her. But would that have made a difference?
:: Sounding more composed::
SHOULD we have told her?
I'm sorry....but knowing what I do...I still don't believe so.
And MORGAN? So shattered was she by Delilah's backlash that she LEFT us...THIS WORLD for Limbo! Where she remains to this very moment. That was her best friend, since CHILDHOOD. They'dbeen through so much. Morgan would do anything for her and only wanted to keep her SAFE.
But it all comes back to what Blaze said, doesnt it? Morgan...and even myself, in trying to protect her...ended up CONTROLLING HER.
That doesn't mean we didn't LOVE AND CARE FOR HER! But we just didn't want to see her throw her LIFE away!
She told us we should have let her live her life. She told us she'd rather DIE than be without her child.
If we had done it the way SHE wanted...she'd be DEAD and Alexia would be an ORPHAN and IF Alexia was NOT in the care of Ororo, there's a distinct possibility that when she DID learn about her mother, she would ALSO have learned that SHE was responsible for her mother's death!
If we have ANY doubt what kind of trauma and burden THAT is to carry, we need only look to NICOLAS and Dominique!
Haleigh, we didn't want that for her! But what else could we have done!? I could "SEE" no other option!
Perhaps this was one time where I should have just...turned a complete "BLIND EYE" and just let it happen...
:: It was a shocking thing to hear Alison say this, but Haleigh could see that she, and evidently Morgan, since they had been privately discussing this, discussing DELILAH for some time now, had deliberated over this at length!::
Haleigh said:
But even when that gets solved, there's still the personal fight you two are having. You won't like hearing this, but you owe her an apology as much as she owes YOU one. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO WAS RIGHT AND WHO WAS WRONG. All that matters is that you stop judging each other and start showing some goddamn compassion again.
:: Alison couldnt help but FLINCH a bit as if those words had SMACKED her right in the face, just like her BROTHER had yesterday! :sure: ::
Haleight said:
You KNEW....... You KNEW Delilah would not react well to the decision YOU made without her. But you weren't prepared to FEEL IT. There's no shame in that, Alison. It took me a long time to realize there's no shame in experiencing emotion. I think if you just accepted THAT, you can start to come to terms with what happened. Right now you're trying too hard to NOT feel it."
:: Again, confirmation. RIGHT in line with what Cameron, Ava and Karen had said.::
:: It was like, for lack of a better analogy, trying to put the genie back in the bottle. she had crashed and burned, had an emotional BREAKDOWN from the deadly collision of physical/emotional exhaustion, the backlash, all of it. ::
I suppose so...
:: She said quietly.::
I can't stop the pain. I mean...Karen told me this...and both she and Ava, Cameron...and now even YOU...have watched me wildly swing between moments of appearing to be "together" and then raging and lashing out. I've been a MESS all because I've felt so...ashamed of myself for even having an emotional break down.
But contrary to what SHE or others think...I AM human...I DO have a heart and feelings. I've spent YEARS relying on a "marble hard heart"....and the last 6 years learning how much better, how much more FULLFILLING it is to not operate with such a hard heart.
I apologize...for mistreating you and verbally abusing you. When I "watched" you and Delilah...i was seething with rage.
I AM displeased that you devoted so much of your time to the government, but that's nothing that warrants the unkindness I've shown to you today. It made me no better than SHE was when SHE unloaded her venom onto Morgan, myself and the others.
But I want you to tell me, now that you know the whole story, if you were in Morgan's or my position...what would YOU have done?
Would you be willing to let someone who's judgement you deeply questioned, due to their previous actions, make such a choice? KNOWING what kind of behavior they've been given over to?